Enabler

I thought I was an enabler until I met my wife 40 years ago. She is the nicest person in the world (after her mother of course). She redefined “giving it all away” in the classiest way possible. The recipient of her “not ripping the trophy out of your grasp” can’t have the slightest idea that they are being given a helping hand. “Miss Congeniality” was named after her (she won that in high school). She tries not to win and doesn’t have a competitive bone in her body but that doesn’t mean you can walk all over her. If she senses that you are condescending, playing her for a sap or taking advantage of her elders or children she’ll stand toe to toe with you and read you the riot act including but not limited to “you ought to be ashamed of yourself”. I digress but you get the idea. Imagine Arnold Swartzenegger (the terminator) dressed in pink on the side of justice for all.

I on the other hand just like to help others find their way. If I have to beat someone twenty years younger at tennis to help them find their way to better tennis then so be it. If you are under fourteen (definitely under 8) I’ll look confused and bewildered when you beat me at “chutes and ladder”, tag or “catch me if you can”.

If you have children “enabling” is fun. You’re there to teach and nurture and enable them to learn how to grow up responsibly in society. How about captains and first officers? About the same but more mature and require more “suave faire”. I like to teach and nurture and instill some confidence and wisdom in my first officers because I’m teaching my replacements. Anybody can say “clear right, I’ll take the chicken and I’ll take the first break if you don’t mind.” I want my first officers to recognize an incapacitated captain, be able to give CPR and taxi to the gate from the right side with differential braking. This is assuming that they increase the age to 65 or higher. Just joking I’m really retiring at 60 no matter what Congress doesn’t do.

Enabling has gotten a bad rap from too many self help programs. Just try to help someone with a drinking or gambling problem and the facilitator in the 12 step program is all over you for enabling the person in trouble. Tough love, intervention or just leave them alone are your choices. Sounds like some captains you fly with doesn’t it? Why make it easier for you than I had it when I was in the right seat?

Enabling could be a disease. If it isn’t it’s a habit that is hard to quit. Trying to please everybody and fixing all problems does give you a great rush of adrenaline and you want to continue that great feeling. Flying is constantly fixing problems like overcoming gravity and flying in the clouds.

As I finish my 31 years of commercial flying I think I’ll miss the people you enable to see their loved ones, business meetings to happen and well deserved vacations to occur. In aviation all our dreams come true. The pilots get to fly instead of work. Everyone else gets to follow their dreams in the air instead of on the highway.

I’ll miss the employees that have stuck together and merged into a great company and an airline that you can be proud of. I’ve been based in Newark, Houston, Honolulu and Guam and have enjoyed all the travel benefits that come with this job. I’ve traveled around the world (literally) and may stay home for awhile after retirement but I won’t stop thinking about my exciting career and all the individuals I’ve met along the way.

You may read about yourself one day. I’ve started a blog named thirtyfivethousandfeet.blogspot.com and ruminate on the vagaries of the pilot’s life. I may not be actively flying for Continental but I’ll never forget the ride I’ve had and the good people I’ve met. Thank you for enabling me to reach my retirement.